Two months from now we'll be walking down the aisle :)
This is probably going to be a pretty busy week wedding planning wise, we're expecting a contract from our photographer, quotes from the florist and the caterer, we've got to decide between the band and the DJ and on Thursday my mom and I are meeting her friend to go over centerpiece designs. Whew! Ty also finally found his wedding pants so he needs to order those and get the word out to the groomsmen too.
The other thing that is supposed to be happening this week? Our RSVP's are due. We set the RSVP date for tomorrow, which I know is very early but we're hoping to be able to invite more people if we can. I know there are tons of opinions about having a "B list," but it's what we had to do given the size limits of our venue.
Hearing the stories of my other friends who have gotten married recently, I expected some RSVPs to come in late...or not at all. But I'm a little shocked that only about 1/2 of the people we invited have responded so far. And we did online RSVPs, so they didn't even have to find a mailbox!
Here is the formal definition of RSVP in case you're interested (I was because I'm a nerd):
R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, "répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means "please reply." The person sending the invitation would like you to tell him or her whether you accept or decline the invitation. That is, will you be coming to the event or not? Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly...via HowStuffWorks
The part that some people seem to over look is "whether you accept or decline."
My friend Kelly got married this past June and said that she had about 20 people who never RSVP'd at all, some of them just showed up at the wedding and some of them she just never heard from. I think some people feel like they're going to hurt your feelings if they say no. For us, we're having our wedding on a remote island in North Carolina, given our original guest list is 27 people more than our venue will hold we are counting on the fact that some people will not be able to come! All of the resources we looked at said to expect about 20% of your guest list to decline, plus it's a long way down there and it involves a ferry ride, we really don't expect everyone to be able to do that.
It's also hard to plan catering and how many chairs, tables, linens, place settings, etc. to rent when you don't actually know how many people will be there. We're not doing a seating chart, but a lot of brides do and I'm sure it drives them crazy when people don't RSVP!
My thought is, if you receive an invitation to something, take 5 minutes and respond or at least let the host know if you're not sure. We have had a couple people tell us they don't know their work schedules yet so they'll let us know as soon as they do, which is totally fine! At least we've heard from them.
Do you have experience with people not RSVP'ing on time or not at all? What's the best way to handle this?
I didn't have a wedding, so I never had to worry about RSVPs. But I do think it's rude to not respond at all! Your wedding sounds like it's going to be absolutely beautiful.
ReplyDelete@Stephanie Thank you! As long as the weather holds out for us I think it's going to be great :) Yeah, I'm definitely guilty of forgetting until the last minute to respond to an RSVP but I wouldn't just not do it at all?
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait to see pictures! Are you going to post any on here? BTW, do you have a twitter account? Keep in touch, I want to hear how it goes, I know it will be lovely!
ReplyDeleteAs for RSVP problems- YES. I have had RSVP issues with graduation parties, tupperware parties, nights on the town- big parties, little get togethers, and yes, my friends have had issues getting people to commit to things like weddings, it's ridiculous! I don't know what people are thinking? Do they assume you'll just be fine GUESSING how many tables, plates of food, or favors to reserve??
If it were me, I'd let them come and just be like "well, no chairs or food for you, but have fun at the chocolate fountain with standing room only since you didn't reserve a seat in time!" But you strike me as far classier, so maybe that's why I'm not engaged yet! ;)
@Shannyn @frugalbeautiful.com Yes I'll definitely be posting pictures!! You can follow me on Twitter @JessCantCook :)
ReplyDeleteMy fiance said "If they don't RSVP by the 15th, they're not allowed to come" and was dead serious at first :P I don't know what people think, I'm even more surprised because it's a destination wedding...don't they need to make travel plans? I was hoping a slew of them would respond today since it's technically the deadline (and apparently Ty is uninviting them haha) but nope!